Insufficiency I Hate You For Defining All Of Me

Ever feel like you’re not good enough? It’s a distressing perception that grips your mind and even your heart to believe that you’re just not it, and matter fact, you never will be. I see you nodding your head, so you’ve been there before too? Just say yes, no one’s looking. I think we all feel that way at one time or another. I mean, it’s natural, right? Well, it happens to me sometimes.

That night you were getting ready for an outing with some good friends and your outfit didn’t come together the way you wanted it to. Or maybe that day at work you presented an idea you were enthusiastic about but your colleagues doubted you. The time you didn’t sign up for that Open Mic night because people weren’t going to ‘understand’ your work. Insufficiency has a way of following us in our most vulnerable moments. We’ve all been there. Ideas of lack and insecurity derive from these elusive doctrines we allow our imaginations to fondle with. And my, oh my, do those concepts have a way of tearing us apart on the inside. All those kisses mommy left you on the cheek when she told you how beautiful you are disappeared. The times you’d listen to your father rant because his offspring was so easy on the eyes and of course they got all their looks from their father… those moments, so gone.

So the question is, who is this noble authority that we have created in our minds with so much power to measure beauty, intelligence, and poise. Do they even exist? Of course society does a good job at highlighting our flaws but oh how they forget how we live in an imperfect world. And *sigh*, why must we forget they we can challenge those meager ideas! Alright, alright, alright — I sound cliche. It’s all very easy to say but not exactly easy to do.

Battling insecurities isn’t exactly something that happens with clever phrases. It’s more about an attitude and a conviction that we must find within ourselves. Why do we even give a ____? I know, these are the people who are quote on quote wiser than, pretty than, etc. However, they are only these things because we make them to be. Yeah, we hate insufficiency for defining ourselves, but that’s where we have it all wrong. WE define who we are. And who are we? Just as! Just as pretty, just as smart. While I could have added the -er suffix to define ourselves as prettier and such, solutions do not always derive from a suggested hierarchy, so instead I rely on equality.


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